Monday, August 20, 2007

Rainy day reflection

"Both girls are finally asleep.

It is gray and raining. The day began in grayness and is fated (if the weather report is true) to end in grayness. It is one of those days where you do not want to wake up, just to pull the covers back over your head and spend the day wrapped in a warm coccoon, while the rain patters and patters outside.

The Bean-girl seems to feel the same. At least, she had no desire to leave the house. Of course, she never wants to leave the house, even when the sun is shining and it's gorgeous outside. The difference is, today I don't want to leave the house either, and have been perfectly content coccooned in with my little ones. The Bean and I played with her hair (new hairclips and accessories, packaged in a little Dora the Explorer purse that I bought at Kohl's!); we watched tv, we played computer games and colored. And the Legume has been delightful today. After an entire weekend of colicky fussing, she has been smiley and sweet-tempered. While the Bean watched Dora the Explorer, Legume and I cooed and grinned at one another.

It's one of those days when I think I can handle this. This isn't so bad. I'm a good mother and I've got it all under control. "

************
Okay, I wrote the above yesterday. And I knew when I wrote it that the sentiment would probably not last another hour.

I was right.

That very afternoon cabin fever set in and I dragged the girls out into the rain for an outing at the library. And at a yellow light I realized I was in the wrong turn lane, slammed on the brakes, and got rear-ended by a car that could not stop quickly enough on the slick road. Mea culpa.

Actually, both of us got out of our cars crying variations of Oh-my-god-I'm-so-sorry!

The other driver was a very apologetic, very nice woman. I also admitted blame. If our husbands had been there to see it, they would probably have had both our heads for being so naive. Neither of us had been in this situation before, and neither really knew what to do. The cars and the passengers all seemed fine, so we just traded contact info and left it at that. The woman even gave me a hug and said, "God bless." That's people in this midwestern town of ours.

So I'm an idiot, and I just thank the stars that the Bean and Legume are fine. There have been one or two occasions when my husband or I have forgotten to buckle in the Bean properly. Thankfully, this was not one of those times. And yeah, my husband scolded me when I told him what happened. So I don't feel perfect after all. In fact, most of the time I feel downright frazzled.

It's the next day, I'm tired, and I still feel frazzled.

And it's still raining.

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