Monday, January 15, 2007

The Bean Chronicles

Like many, I suppose I'm starting a blog so that I can vent. And try to come to terms with some things. And oh, yes, to preserve the memory of my children's early years and this time in my family's life. I suck at keeping the standard baby book updated (my older daughter's book is embarassingly incomplete), and I have never been able to keep up with any kind of hardcopy journal, despite attempts at various points in my life. I can type faster than I can write, and I'm addicted to the Internet, so maybe a blog will be easier.

I am currently a stay-at-home mom to one two-year old daughter, aka The Baby Bean. I am an expectant mother to the Baby Bean's sister, currently referred to as the Edamame Bean. In a previous life, I was a biomedical research scientist, and had ambitions of having a Real Career in science. Well, scientific experiments are not always predictable (or what would be the point of doing them?) and neither is life. Things didn't turn out the way I expected or wanted, but at least I'm still married, have a beautiful daughter, and am expecting my second. I try to remember to be grateful to my long-suffering, hard-working, patient-as-a-saint-husband who does far more than his share of domestic work and also puts up with all my crap. And I'm grateful every day for my daughter, even though I had to play the same "We are Dinosaurs" Laurie Berkner song for her seven times in a row today.

This blog is meant to focus primarily as a "baby book" for my children, the little beans. But I will also probably use it to vent on various other issues, including academic science, science careers, and the issue of women in science. I have been a scientist for so long that it is hard to give up. It's hard to not have that identity anymore. Anyone who's been through a Ph.D. program and worked in academics will know what I'm talking about. In my weak moments I still have fantasies of returning to research at some point, although the current state of NIH funding means that any chances of a viable long-term career in research is (for me, at least) very remote indeed.

Anyway, for whoever is reading this--welcome to the Bean Chronicles! You may read this sometime in the far future, my daughters. You will be adults then, of course, and dreadfully embarassed by everything I have to say.